Your fic must contain the following:
*Yami no Bakura/Yami no Yuugi
*Kaiba/Jounouchi
*Kaiba with no pants and a fireman's helmet
*Explain the helmet
*Shaadi must appear
*There must be a video camera at some point
*Yep, there will be drinking games
*The following lines must be used "I didn't know he could bend like that" and "You broke the hikaris".
*You must list the challenge in your journal


In other words, you can fully blame Angel for this one. And Renza, for letting her high bunny-kitty thing loose upon the Internet.

Speaking of which, Yu-Gi-Oh! is not mine. And this pretty much also blatantly ignores cannon, because Yami/Yugi and Ryo/Bakura kind of have separate bodies. Yes, the "kind of" is supposed to be there.

Untitled Challenge Fic
By: Robin Terrae


**********


For the hundredth time that night, he wondered what the hell he'd be thinking.

And who the fuck had taught that blasted Pharaoh Christmas carols? English Christmas carols at that! They didn’t even have Christmas in Ancient Egypt, so he had to learn it somewhere. Probably his blasted hikari. Stupid boy.

He also wondered who thought it would be smart to let a 16-year-old-boy-who-looked-like-he-was-12 and a 3,000-year-old-once-Pharaoh-of-Egypt, both of whom consistently dressed as if they were about to walk onto a set of some really bad gay porno, into the alcohol.

Speaking of which, why the hell did Kaiba have so much booze anyway?

His fingers twitched as he tried to control himself as the Pharaoh's voice went spectacularly off-key. It simply would not do for him to jump off the couch, onto the Pharaoh and do unspeakable things to him. To have him squirming and thrusting up against him, as they were locked in their deadly dance… he swore under his breath, ancient Egyptian curses as he felt his pants constrict.

God dammit. He would not kill anyone tonight. No matter how much he wanted to. He promised Ryo he would not maim, torch, strangle, harm or kill anything. He was supposed to be on his best behavior.

… Though, Ryo didn't say a damn thing about him getting some.

For the first time that night, Bakura smirked, a plan forming in the back of his mind.

And no, he really didn't want to know why Kaiba wasn't wearing pants.

**********


It had all started out innocently enough. Jounouchi wanted to have a party, and while Kaiba swore up and down that there was no way in hell that they were having another one, all Jou had to do was bat his eyes at Kaiba and the great CEO of Kaiba Corp melted. Jounouchi so had the taller boy wrapped around his finger.

The others figured that Kaiba didn't want a repeat of the last one he had been at, where he had been dared to prance around the room in his boxers and a fire helmet. He hadn't wanted to do it, of course, but the dare had come from Yami; and everyone knew that Kaiba just couldn't bow down to his rival. So he had done it.

Bakura mused that that was probably one of the best video tapes in his personal collection. Kaiba never even saw the video camera. Thank god for technology.

**********


Bakura wanted to laugh at the sheer simplicity of his idea. Instead, he just mentally gloated while watching the others. It was easy, really. Take one already drunk Pharaoh, add one equally drunk Pharaoh's hikari, a slightly tipsy multi-millionaire teenage CEO and said CEO's puppy and challenge them to a game.

Actually, he didn’t really need to challenge Jounouchi. Hell, it seemed like the boy knew what he was up to and was more than willing to help out. Bakura smirked. As much as the light patrol got on his nerves, it was nice to have a partner in crime.

After all, the better scapegoats they made when something happened to go wrong.

But he was digressing. You simply challenge the King of Games and his arch rival to a drinking game. After all, neither one of them could refuse. Their pride was at stake. And neither one would let the other back down from a challenge, no matter who issued it.

Bakura decided to let Ryo be the referee. After all, if he did it, everyone would think he was up to something. No. Better let the hikari do it. They never suspected the quiet ones after all. He rubbed his hands together in glee as he waited for the fun to begin.

**********


It didn’t take long for the idiot Pharaoh to get off-his-ass-wasted. Yugi, it seemed, was still slightly conscious, but cuddling up to Ryo. Bakura wanted to laugh; his poor partner looked like he had no clue what to do with a drunken Yugi.

Of course, he had no idea where Jou and Kaiba went. Probably upstairs so that Kaiba could complete that dare. Who knew that Yugi had it in him to dare Kaiba to be Jou's dog for the night?

Bakura smirked down at the Pharaoh currently curled up on his lap and groped him. Yami blinked, squeaked in surprise and looked up at Bakura.

"What'd you do tha-" Yami never finished as he found his mouth full of tongue; a tongue that was trying to introduce itself to his tonsils. He moaned loudly, wrapping his arms around Bakura's neck.

Ryo started at the noise, looking up from poking Yugi awake to blink, then gaped at the sight before him. He started shaking Yugi hard, pointing to the Yamis when Yugi started whining for Ryo to stop.

Yugi turned his head slowly, blinking several times. "Is that…?"

"Yes." Ryo whispered to him.

"Ah. Ok. Just making sure," and with that Yugi fell backwards, fainting. Ryo eeped and tired to catch him, only he didn't manage to get a solid hold on him and went down with him.

Bakura pulled away from Yami at the noise, looking at the two hikaris on the floor, lying together in a twisted mass. He started laughing. "Ha! Pharaoh, you broke the hikaris!"

The other blinked, "What the hell are you talking about tomb robber…." Yami's eyes widened as they landed on the mound that was Yugi and Ryo. "I didn't know he could bend that way."

"Who?"

"Well, either of them. Aibou hates gym and shuns just about all forms of physical activities and Bakura-kun doesn't look like he's much better."

Bakura paused to consider this then shrugged. "We can ask them later, right now, we have some unfinished business to attend to." And with that, Bakura pulled Yami down on top of him and continued to finish what they had started.

**********


In the corner of the room, Shaadi adjusted the video camera so that it tilted at the right angle. If the tape came back and all there was was audio and no video, Isis would kill him. And no one dared cross the bearer of the Tauk when she was in one of her moods.

Checking the camera one more time, Shaadi disappeared, making a mental note to come back in an hour, no, wait, make that four hours, to retrieve the tape.


~~~~~~


What do you do with a drunken Yugi?
What do you do with a drunken Yugi?
What do you do with a drunken Yugi?
Earl-aye in the mornin'